Conversations with my inner child

I want to escape you
Buy you tell me to embrace you 
I want to shut you down
So I can feel my crown
My crown of "consciousness"
As you watch me drown in our ego's cleverness

I distract myself from you 
Through media and money
food and luxury
work and vacations

I say I deserve it or I earned it 
I tell myself I am fixed
As a sit in the fog of superiority 
Over stacks of books and podcasts
that I follow religiously

I distract myself with society and busy-ness
So I can avoid the uneasiness
of feeling what you feel
seeing what you see
I withdraw and become mean
because I prefer to be unseen

I want to escape you
Buy you tell me to embrace you 
I want to shut you down
So I can feel my crown
My crown of "consciousness"
As you watch me drown in our ego's cleverness